Medical Oncologist
CION Cancer Clinics
How to explain a genetic result to your child | CION Cancer Clinics
Most children cope better with a simple, honest explanation than with a secret they can sense. You do not need the perfect words, and you do not need to explain everything at once. This page covers what children understand at different ages, how to start the first conversation, which words help and which backfire, and when to ask your genetic counsellor for support. At CION Cancer Clinics, our oncologists plan screening and care for families with an inherited cancer syndrome, explained in plain words.
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Medically reviewed by Dr. Naresh GunduConsultant Medical Oncologist · MBBS, DNB (Internal Medicine), DM (Medical Oncology, AIIMS) · last reviewed September 2026, next review due September 2027
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On this page
- Should I tell my child about a genetic result?
- What can a child understand at each stage?
- How do you start the conversation?
- How can you explain the words your child will hear?
- What helps, and what tends to backfire?
- What this page cannot tell you
- What do parents often believe about telling a child?
- Common questions about explaining a genetic result to a child
The short answer
Should I tell my child about a genetic result?
In most cases, yes, in simple words that fit their age, and a little at a time. Children cope better with a calm, honest explanation than with a secret they can sense but not understand. You do not need to explain everything at once, and you do not need the perfect words.
Why silence rarely protects a child
Children notice hospital visits, whispered phone calls and worried faces. When nobody explains, they often fill the gap with something worse, such as thinking they did something wrong or that someone is about to die. A plain explanation takes that fear away and lets them ask what they really want to know.
Whose result are you explaining?
The conversation is different depending on whose result it is. It may be your child's own result, which means regular check-ups for them. It may be a parent's or a brother's or sister's result, which raises the question of whether your child should be tested too. Your genetic counsellor can help you work out which conversation you are having.
Telling a child is not a single talk. It is a conversation that grows as they grow.Age by age
What can a child understand at each stage?
Every child is different. These are rough guides, not rules. You know your child best.
Very young children
They need to know what will happen to them, not why. Keep it to the next visit: who they will see, whether anything will hurt, and that you will be there.
Primary school age
They can understand that bodies have instructions inside, and that one instruction has a small mistake. They often worry about fairness and blame, so say clearly that it is nobody's fault.
Older children
They can follow the idea of a family trait passed from parent to child, and may ask about brothers, sisters or cousins. They also look things up online, so give them a trusted source first.
Teenagers
They want real information and a voice in decisions about their own body. Include them in appointments where you can.
They often ask
- Will this affect my future marriage?
- Can I still play sport and travel?
- Who else knows about it?
Not sure whether this applies to you?
Ask an oncologistThe first conversation
How do you start the conversation?
Get ready with your counsellor
Ask the genetic counsellor to help you choose words, in Telugu or whichever language your family speaks at home. Some teams can join the conversation or see the child with you.
Choose a calm, ordinary moment
A quiet walk or a drive often works better than a formal sit-down. Avoid the night before a scan or a school exam.
Use a simple picture
You might say the body works from a big instruction book, and one page in ours has a spelling mistake. It is not anyone's fault, and doctors know how to keep an eye on it.
Say what it means day to day
Children care most about what changes for them. Explain the check-ups in plain terms, and say what stays the same: school, friends, games and family.
Invite questions, then come back to it
Tell them they can ask anything, any time. It is fine to say you do not know and will ask the doctor.
Child-friendly words
How can you explain the words your child will hear?
- Gene
- A tiny instruction inside every part of the body, like one line in a recipe.
- Gene change or variant
- A spelling mistake in one instruction. It was there from the start and nobody put it there on purpose.
- Inherited
- Passed from a parent to a child, the way eye colour or height can be. Nobody chooses what they pass on.
- Predisposition
- A higher chance of a certain illness than other children have. It is not the illness itself.
- Check-ups or surveillance
- Regular visits and scans to make sure everything is fine, and to catch anything early if it is not.
- Genetic counsellor
- A specialist who explains genes to families and helps them decide what to do next.
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Side by side
What helps, and what tends to backfire?
Usually helps
Often backfires
Short, honest answers to the question asked
Long lectures full of medical detail
"It is nobody's fault"
Arguments about which side of the family it came from
"I don't know, let's ask the doctor"
Guessing, or promising nothing bad will ever happen
One trusted adult the child can always ask
Relatives giving different stories
Being straight with you
What this page cannot tell you
It cannot tell you exactly what to say to your child, or when. That depends on your child's age, personality, the specific condition and what the result means for their care. A genetic counsellor, and where needed a child psychologist, can help you plan it for your family.
It cannot explain your child's result
What your specific variant means is a question for the counsellor who ordered the test. Different childhood predisposition conditions need very different check-ups, and some need none in childhood at all. Please do not explain the medical details to your child until you have heard them from the team yourself.
Who this does not apply to
Most families with a child who had cancer do not carry an inherited cause. If testing has not been done, or found nothing, there is no genetic result to explain. And a child's healthy brother or sister is not automatically tested. That is a separate decision, often best left until the child can take part. Research on how children cope with genetic news is still limited, and studies so far are small.
If your child seems withdrawn, anxious or angry for weeks after the conversation, tell your team. Support is available.Commonly believed
What do parents often believe about telling a child?
"They are too young to understand, so it is better to say nothing."
Even young children sense when something is wrong. They may not understand genes, but they understand a simple, calm explanation of what will happen at the next visit.
"If I tell them, they will be frightened all the time."
Most children take their cue from their parents. When the news is shared calmly and linked to a clear plan of check-ups, fear usually settles. Not knowing tends to cause more worry.
"I have to explain everything in one go."
Most families explain it in stages. You can start with what happens next and add more as the child grows or asks. Coming back to it is normal, not a failure.
"It is my fault, so I am the wrong person to tell them."
Nobody chooses the genes they pass on. You are usually the best person to tell your child, because you are the person they trust most. A counsellor can sit with you if that helps.
Questions we are asked
Common questions about explaining a genetic result to a child
At what age should I tell my child?
There is no single right age. If your child needs regular check-ups, they need some explanation before the first one, even a very simple one. If the result is a parent's and does not affect the child yet, many families wait until the child is older and can understand more.
What if my child asks whether they will get cancer?
Be honest without frightening them. You might say that their body has a higher chance than other children's, which is why doctors check on them regularly, and that most check-ups find everything is fine. Avoid promising that nothing will ever happen.
Should brothers and sisters be told at the same time?
Usually it helps if brothers and sisters hear a similar story, adjusted for each child's age, so nobody feels left out or singled out. Whether a healthy brother or sister should be tested is a separate question for your genetic counsellor.
What do we tell grandparents and other relatives?
Agree as parents on what you will share and who will say it. In joint families, grandparents sometimes look for blame on one side. It helps to repeat, firmly and kindly, that nobody chooses their genes. Relatives may also need testing, so share the result with those it affects.
Should the school know?
It is your choice. Many parents tell the class teacher only what is needed, such as regular hospital days off. You do not have to share the genetic result itself. Older children should have a say in who at school is told.
My child is angry or refuses to talk. What should I do?
Anger and silence are normal reactions. Give them time, and let them know the door is open. Some children talk more easily while drawing, playing or travelling. If it lasts for weeks or affects sleep and school, ask your team about a child psychologist.
Can the counselling be done in Telugu?
Ask for it. Children, and often grandparents, understand far better in the language they speak at home. Ask the team whether a Telugu-speaking counsellor or interpreter can join, and whether simple written material in Telugu is available to take home.
Will my child need to know when they grow up and marry?
Yes, eventually. As adults they will make their own decisions about testing, marriage and children, and they will need the facts to do so. Explaining gradually through childhood makes that later conversation much easier than a sudden disclosure at marriage time.
Your Specialists
Meet CION's oncologists. Bring your family history or genetic report to them.
Our medical oncologists see people with a strong family history of cancer, arrange genetic counselling and testing where it fits, and plan the checks that follow.
Medical Oncologist
Dr. C. Raghavendra Reddy
MBBS(Gold Medal), DNB(General Medicine), DM(Medical Oncology)(Gold Medal)
Medical Oncologist
Dr. Bharati Devi Gorantla
MBBS, MD(General Medicine), DM(Medical Oncology)(Adyar,Chennai), ECMO, MRCP SCE(UK)
Medical Oncologist
Dr. Owais Mohammed
MBBS, MD (General Medicine), DrNB (Medical Oncology), ECMO, MRCP SCE (Medical Oncology) (UK)
Medical Oncologist
Medical Oncologist
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Sources
- National Cancer Institute — Genetic Testing for Inherited Cancer Susceptibility Syndromes
- National Cancer Institute — Cancer in Children and Adolescents
- MedlinePlus Genetics — What is genetic counseling?
- Cancer Research UK — Inherited cancer genes and increased cancer risk
This page is general information, not a prescription. Do not change or stop any treatment based on what you read here. If anything is worrying you, contact your own treating team — or call our helpline and we will help you reach the right specialist.
Keep reading
Related pages
When a child should decide for themselvesWhen the choice about testing passes to your childShould healthy siblings be tested?The question that often follows the first conversationParental guilt after an inherited diagnosisFor the feeling that it is your faultSchool, sport and growing up with a predispositionWhat everyday life looks like afterwards
Talk to us
Not sure how to tell your child?
A genetic counsellor can help you plan the words, in Telugu or English, and can sit with you for the conversation if you want. One helpline serves every CION centre.