Coping with your child's cancer diagnosis — you are not alone

Yes, this is one of the most commonly reported reactions. Emotional numbness — feeling blank, disconnected, or unable to react — is a recognised psychological response to overwhelming news. It is not a sign that you do not care, or that you are handling things wrongly. It is the mind's way of managing information that is too large to process at once. The intensity of feeling often comes in waves over the days and weeks that follow. Some parents feel the grief most acutely weeks after diagnosis, once the initial adrenaline of organising appointments and tests begins to subside. A psycho-oncologist or counsellor can help you understand and navigate what you are feeling at each stage.

Children of all ages sense when something is wrong, and unexplained secrecy often causes more fear than the truth told in age-appropriate language. Paediatric psycho-oncologists generally recommend telling siblings what is happening in honest but simple terms — 'your brother or sister has an illness that needs a special kind of medicine given in hospital'. Avoid euphemisms that may be misunderstood. Reassure siblings that cancer is not something they caught from the ill child, and that it is not anyone's fault. Older children and teenagers may want more detail. Ask the CION team for a referral to a child counsellor who can guide family conversations, and try to maintain as much routine as possible for siblings at home.

Parental wellbeing is not a luxury — it is a clinical requirement. Research in paediatric oncology consistently shows that parents who receive emotional support are better able to support their child through treatment. Practical steps that help: accept offers of help from family and friends rather than trying to manage everything alone; take over-care in shifts with your partner or another trusted adult so each of you gets rest; identify one or two people you can be fully honest with about how you are feeling; use the counselling and psycho-oncology services that the hospital makes available. At CION Cancer Clinics, the care team includes access to psycho-oncology support for families, not just patients. You deserve to be cared for too.

This is one of the most common concerns parents raise. Children are remarkably resilient, and most children who complete cancer treatment do not develop lasting psychological trauma — especially when they are supported well during the process. Key protective factors include honest, age-appropriate communication, a consistent routine where possible, peer support and school re-integration after treatment, and access to a child psychologist throughout. Some children and families do experience post-traumatic stress responses and this is taken seriously in good paediatric oncology care. Early referral to a child psychologist — rather than waiting to see if there is a problem — is the recommended approach. CION's paediatric care includes psychological support as a standard part of the care plan.

There is no one right way. Some families prefer to tell people themselves, individually; others find a single message or group update less emotionally draining. It helps to decide in advance who your primary support people are and to be clear with wider acquaintances about what kind of support is useful — for example, practical help (meals, transport, childcare for siblings) rather than frequent calls asking for updates. Social media can be useful for keeping people informed without repeating the same conversation, but only share what you are comfortable making public. Many families designate one trusted person to act as an information intermediary so the parents can focus on the child's care. Whatever feels right for your family is the correct approach.

Absolutely, and it is more common than most parents expect. Anger — at the diagnosis, at the unfairness of the situation, at the team delivering difficult news — is a normal part of grief. It is rarely a sign of actual dissatisfaction with the care being given. Experienced paediatric oncology teams understand this and will not take it personally. However, if you feel genuinely concerned about an aspect of your child's care, raise it directly and promptly. Every family at CION Cancer Clinics has a named nurse coordinator who is the first point of contact for concerns of any kind. You also have the right to seek a second opinion at any time — a confident team will welcome rather than discourage it.