Talking to your family
Telling Your Family — About Scan Results
Getting scan results is hard. Telling the people you love what those results mean is often harder. You are managing your own feelings while delivering news that will affect everyone in the room. This page is about how to do that.
Medically reviewed by Dr. T. Raghavender Reddy, Medical Oncologist, MBBS · DM (Medical Oncology) · MD (Radiation Oncology) · Last reviewed September 2026
- You set the pace — You choose what to share, how much detail, and when. There is no obligation to say everything at once.
- No single right time — There is no deadline for telling people. Most find it helps to tell one close person first.
- Their reaction is about them — Fear shows as silence, questions, or urgency. It is not a judgement of how you are handling things.
- Support is available for families too — Psycho-oncology counselling at CION is available for the people around you, not only for patients.
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You do not have to share everything at once. Most people find it helps to lead with the main result — stable, improved, or changed — and let the details follow as your family asks. There is no right time to tell them. Waiting alone for days rarely helps anyone.
How do you start the conversation?
Find a quiet moment
Choose a time when neither of you needs to be somewhere else soon. Sitting together in person is better than a phone call if you can manage it.
Share the main result first
Say the headline before anything else — stable, improved, or changed. One clear sentence is easier to absorb than a slow build that leaves them guessing.
Pause and let them respond
After you share the main result, stop. Give them time to react before you explain more. Their first response may not be their lasting one.
Tell them what comes next
Share the next step your team has recommended. Even a small next step reduces the feeling that everything is now uncertain.
Say what you need from them
Tell them directly whether you want practical help, company, or simply for someone to know. People cannot usually guess this correctly, and being told is a relief.
How much do you have to tell them?
You are not obliged to share the full report, the numbers, or the medical language. The main result — stable, improved, or changed — is usually enough for a first conversation.
Details can come later, as your family asks or as you feel ready. Some people find it easier to send a brief message to extended family after talking with one close person first, so they are not repeating themselves many times.
It is your news. You set the pace.
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Practical guidance from a team that sees families through this every day.
What if their reaction is hard to manage?
Fear often shows as silence, questions, or the urge to fix things immediately. None of that means they do not love you. It means they do not know what to do with what they are feeling.
You do not have to manage their distress on top of your own. It is acceptable to say: 'I know this is hard to hear. Let us talk more when we are both a bit calmer.'
If reactions in your family feel consistently overwhelming to hold, a psycho-oncology counsellor can help — for you and for the people around you. Ask your CION care coordinator to refer you.
Did you know?
When someone has cancer, the people closest to them frequently carry high levels of distress of their own. A family conversation is not one person delivering news to a calm audience — it is two sets of fear meeting at once.
Knowing this does not make the conversation easier, but it can make your family's reaction feel less personal.
Source: International Psycho-Oncology Society (IPOS) — Family-Centred Cancer Care Guidelines
What if the conversation feels especially hard?
Telling elderly parents you want to protect
Most elderly parents sense something is wrong before they are told, and imagining is often more frightening than knowing. You do not need to share every detail — framing it as 'the doctors are watching and they know what to do' is honest and far less alarming than medical language they cannot process.
Telling children in the family
Children as young as five are aware when the adults around them are distressed. Keeping them uninformed does not protect them — it leaves them making up explanations, which are usually worse than the truth. Something like 'Amma is getting treatment for something the doctors are helping with' is honest and enough. Ask your care team for a psycho-oncology referral if you are unsure how to handle this.
When the news is bad and you do not want to upset them
The instinct to protect family from difficult news is natural, but carrying bad news alone takes a real toll. Most people find it helps to tell one trusted person — a spouse, a sibling — even if they wait before telling others. You do not have to hold the first hours of this by yourself.
When family pushes for alternatives or a second opinion
This is almost always a form of love. You can acknowledge it — 'I hear that you want to explore this' — without letting it become a conflict. Decisions rest with you and your oncologist. A second opinion is always something you can request through your treating team if you want one.
When you do not want to tell everyone
You are not required to tell everyone the same thing or at the same time. Extended family, colleagues and neighbours do not have a right to your medical information. Asking those you do tell to keep it private — 'please keep this between us for now' — is a reasonable request.
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Explore 62 more Family Support, Myths, Follow-Up and Emergencies topics
Scanxiety & Emotional Impact
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- Getting Bad News From a Scan Report
- Getting Good News: Why Relief Is Complicated
- Living Between Scans: The Six-Month Rhythm
- Making the Most of Your Post-Scan Consultation
- Recurring Scanxiety in Long-Term Surveillance
- Scanxiety: The Fear Before and After a PET-CT
- Should You Look Up Your Results Online Before the Consult?
- Supporting Someone Through Scan Day
- Telling Family About Scan Results
- The Night Before a PET-CT Scan
- Waiting for PET-CT Results: How to Get Through It
- When a Patient Refuses to Have the Scan
- When to Seek Counselling Around Scans
Caretaker & Family Guide
- A Printable PET-CT Day Checklist for Families
- After the Scan: What the Family Should Know
- Collecting and Storing the Report and Images
- Coordinating a Scan for a Parent in Another City
- Explaining a Parent's Scan to Children
- Explaining the Scan to an Anxious Patient
- Getting an Elderly Parent to and From the Scan
- Helping Someone Fast Before a PET-CT
- Managing Cost and Payment as a Family
- Preparing Questions for the Post-Scan Consultation
- The Family's Complete Guide to a PET-CT Scan Day
- What the Attendant Can and Cannot Do During the Scan
Emergencies & Red Flags
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- Breathing Difficulty During or After a Scan
- Delayed Contrast Reaction Hours After the Scan
- Emergencies Around a PET-CT Scan: What Needs Immediate Care
- Fainting or Collapse at the Scan Centre
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- Panic Attack During the Scan
- Severe Contrast Reaction: Recognising It
- What to Do If the Cannula Site Swells or Hurts After
- When to Call the Centre After Your Scan
Follow-Up & Surveillance Scanning
- Can You Refuse a Follow-Up PET Scan?
- Follow-Up Scanning During Long-Term Treatment
- How Often Will You Need a PET-CT After Treatment?
- Is Routine Surveillance PET Actually Recommended?
- Keeping a Personal Scan Log
- Reducing Radiation Across Years of Surveillance
- Scan-Based vs Symptom-Based Follow-Up
- Surveillance Scanning by Cancer Type: A Reference Table
- The Annual Cost of Cancer Surveillance Scanning
- Transferring Surveillance to a Centre Closer to Home
- What Happens If a Surveillance Scan Shows Something?
- When Can You Stop Having Scans?
Myths & Misinformation
- Ayurvedic and Alternative Alternatives to a PET Scan
- Myth: A Normal PET Scan Means You Are Cured
- Myth: A PET Scan Can Cause Cancer
- Myth: A PET Scan Detects Every Cancer
- Myth: A PET Scan Spreads or Worsens Cancer
- Myth: A Positive PET Scan Means You Definitely Have Cancer
- Myth: A Scan From a Cheaper Centre Will Not Be Accepted
- Myth: An Expensive Scan Is Always a Better Scan
- Myth: Eating Sugar Before a Scan Will Show Up Cancer
- Myth: PET Scans Are Only for Terminal Cancer
- Myth: The Tracer Injection Is a Kind of Chemotherapy
- Myth: You Should Avoid Water After a PET Scan
- Myth: You Should Get a PET Scan Every Year to Be Safe
- Myth: You Stay Radioactive for Days After a PET Scan
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Common questions
Frequently asked questions
Is it better to tell family immediately or wait until I have more information?
Neither is right for everyone. Telling people early means you are not carrying the news alone, but you may also have more questions than answers at that point. Many people tell one close person straight away and wait until after their next oncology appointment before telling others. There is no deadline — wait until you know enough to feel settled enough to say it.
What if my family wants more detail than I am ready to share?
You can say plainly: 'I will share more when I know more myself.' That is a complete answer. Family members who push for detail are usually managing their own fear, not asserting a right to information you are not ready to give. Setting that boundary is not unkind — it protects the conversation until you can have it properly.
What do I actually say to start? Can you give me the words?
Try: 'I got my scan results today. I wanted to tell you myself.' Then say the main finding in one sentence — 'Things are stable' or 'There has been some change and I have an appointment to talk it through with my doctor.' You do not need to be precise or complete. You just need to open the door. The rest of the conversation follows from there.
What if I cry, or they cry, during the conversation?
Crying is not a problem to manage — it is the conversation working. You do not need to stay composed to share this news, and matching the emotional weight of what you are saying can make the other person feel less alone in what they are hearing. If either of you needs a moment, take it. 'I need a minute' is something you are allowed to say.
What support is available if we cannot manage the emotional weight of this?
Psycho-oncology support is available through CION for patients and for family members — not only for those in crisis, but for anyone who finds the emotional weight of a scan result difficult to carry day to day. Ask your care coordinator to refer you. If you or someone around you is in acute distress, iCall, a free helpline run by TISS, is searchable online and offers both phone and chat support.