Cooking for a chemotherapy patient

Plainer than usual, lighter on oil and spice, in smaller quantities cooked more often, and served fresh and hot. You do not need to cook a separate meal for the household. You need to serve the patient's portion before the chilli goes in and before the dish has stood for an hour.

The second rule matters as much: cook to what they can eat today rather than to what is good for them in principle. Taste changes, sickness and a sore mouth will decide the menu, and fighting that produces uneaten plates and a distressed household.

Smell is the part people forget

Cooking smells cause more sickness than the food itself. Keep the kitchen door shut and a window open, avoid frying and strong tempering when the patient is nearby, and let somebody else be in the kitchen during the bad days.

This is a job that needs one owner

One person who knows what was tolerated last cycle, what is in the freezer and when the difficult days fall. Cooking by committee produces whatever the loudest relative believes is good for cancer.

It cannot give you a menu that will work. What a patient can eat changes between cycles and sometimes between days, and the only reliable guide is what they managed yesterday. Keep a note rather than looking for a chart.

It also cannot tell you your own food rules. If the team has asked for a strict low-bacteria diet for a period, that goes further than anything here. Ask a hospital dietitian, particularly if weight is falling.

Do not make eating a battleground

Pressing food on somebody who feels sick causes distress on both sides and usually less eating rather than more. Offer small amounts often, accept refusals without comment, and report persistent poor intake to the team instead of arguing about it at the table.

Feed the attendant too

The person cooking and travelling to hospital is usually eating worst of anybody in the house. Cook for two, eat at the same time, and treat that as part of the job rather than an indulgence.

What to do next

Cook smaller amounts twice a day and serve the patient's portion before the chilli. Keep the kitchen door shut while cooking. Offer small plates often. Write down what was eaten and refused after each cycle. And cook for the attendant as well.