Medical Oncologist
Emotional support
Handling unsolicited advice
With one prepared sentence, repeated. Thank the person, say you are following your oncologist's advice and cannot add anything to it, and change the subject. You do not owe anybody an explanation, a debate, or a trial of their cousin's remedy.
NG
Medically reviewed by Dr. Naresh GunduConsultant Medical Oncologist · MBBS, DNB (Internal Medicine), DM (Medical Oncology, AIIMS) · last reviewed September 2026, next review due September 2027
17+specialists on panel
15,000+patients treated
35+centres across Telangana & AP
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The short answer
How do you handle everybody's advice about your cancer?
With one prepared sentence, repeated. "Thank you, we are following our oncologist's advice and cannot add anything to it" closes almost every conversation without an argument. You do not owe anybody an explanation, a debate, or a trial of their cousin's remedy.
The volume of it is genuinely exhausting. Within a week of the diagnosis becoming known, a household here will have been offered soursop leaves, wheatgrass, cow urine, a sugar-free diet to starve the tumour, alkaline water, a healer in a nearby district, and several confident warnings that chemotherapy is what actually kills people. All from people who care about you.
Show every remedy to your oncologist before taking it
Some herbal and ayurvedic preparations interact with chemotherapy or affect the liver and kidneys. This is the one part that is not merely tiresome but genuinely risky.
Appoint somebody else to field it
A relative whose job is to take the calls, thank people and close the conversation. The patient should not be spending their energy on this.
Never delay a cycle for anybody's alternative
The most harmful advice you will receive is to postpone treatment and try something else first. Time matters, and that suggestion is the one to refuse flatly.
Tell your oncologist about anything you are already taking, including tonics and powders. They need to know.What you will hear
The six kinds of advice, and what to do with each
- "Stop the chemotherapy, it does more harm than good"
- The most dangerous thing anybody will say to you. Refuse it flatly and do not debate it. If it has genuinely unsettled you, take the question to your oncologist rather than to the person who raised it.
- "Take this herbal or ayurvedic preparation"
- Show it to your oncologist before taking anything. Several interact with treatment or affect the liver and kidneys, and "natural" says nothing about whether it is safe alongside chemotherapy.
- "Sugar feeds cancer, so cut it out completely"
- Severe restriction during treatment causes weight loss, which is a real problem. Eat a normal balanced diet, and ask for a dietitian rather than following diet advice from relatives.
- "My uncle had this and he did not survive"
- Irrelevant to you and impossible to unhear. Say that every case is different, change the subject, and let the appointed relative handle the next person who offers it.
- "You must stay positive or it will come back"
- Untrue and quietly cruel, because it makes patients hide how they feel. Nobody's outcome depends on cheerfulness, and you are allowed to have bad days without consequence.
- "Go to this healer in the next district"
- Decline, and be especially careful with anybody charging money, promising a complete recovery, or asking you to stop your treatment. Those three together are the clearest warning signs.
Not sure whether this applies to you?
Ask an oncologistPractical
Sentences that actually work
Short, warm and final. Do not explain.
The all-purpose reply
"Thank you, that is kind. We are following our oncologist's advice and cannot add anything to it." Then change the subject. It works for almost every remedy and every diet.
Do not
- Explain your treatment plan
- Argue about the evidence
For the persistent relative
"I will mention it to the doctor at our next visit." Said once, it closes the loop and costs you nothing. You are not obliged to report back afterwards.
For somebody telling you to stop treatment
"We are not going to discuss that." Firmer than the others, and appropriate. This is the one piece of advice that causes real harm and it does not deserve politeness.
Then
- Tell your oncologist it was suggested
- Ask them for the answer you can repeat
For the frightening story
"Every case is different, and I would rather not hear about it." People stop, and are usually embarrassed rather than offended. You do not have to sit through it.
Appoint a gatekeeper
One relative who takes the calls, thanks people and closes the conversation. Give them the sentences above. It removes most of the daily load from the patient entirely.
!
Treat these as warnings, whoever is offering them
Anybody who tells you to stop or delay your chemotherapy · anybody promising a complete recovery or a certain outcome · anybody charging substantial money for a remedy · anybody who tells you not to tell your oncologist · anybody asking you to stop a prescribed medicine · anybody selling an injection, drip or treatment at home. Tell your oncologist what has been suggested, and never take an unknown preparation before they have seen it. Some cause liver and kidney damage on their own.
Being straight with you
What this page cannot tell you
It cannot tell you whether a specific preparation is safe for you. Only your oncologist can, having seen the actual product and knowing your drugs, your liver and your kidneys. Bring the bottle or the packet to the appointment rather than describing it.
It also cannot tell you how to manage your particular family. Some relatives cannot be deflected politely, some hold real authority in a household, and some will be hurt whatever you say. A gatekeeper and a written line from the doctor help more than any wording.
Most of these people genuinely mean well
That is what makes it hard to refuse. You can accept the affection and decline the advice in the same sentence, and you do not have to correct anybody's beliefs to do it.
Complementary practices are not all the same thing
Prayer, meditation, yoga and gentle massage alongside your treatment are a different matter from swallowing an unknown preparation or delaying a cycle. Tell your team what you are doing and ask about anything ingested.
Ask for a written line you can show people
A note from your oncologist saying the treatment plan is set and no additional remedies should be taken carries more weight in a household than anything the patient says. It is a reasonable thing to request.
What to do next
Learn one sentence and use it every time. Appoint a relative as gatekeeper and give them the same words. Show anything you are already taking to your oncologist, ask for a written line you can show people, and refuse flatly any suggestion to delay treatment.
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Commonly believed
Four claims you will certainly hear
"Chemotherapy is what kills people, not the cancer."
This is the most harmful thing said to patients here, and acting on it costs people time they cannot recover. Refuse to debate it and take the question to your oncologist rather than to the person repeating it.
"It is natural, so it cannot interfere with treatment."
Several herbal and ayurvedic preparations interact with chemotherapy or affect the liver and kidneys. Natural says nothing about safety alongside treatment. Show the actual product to your team before taking it.
"Cutting out sugar completely will starve the tumour."
Severe dietary restriction during treatment causes weight loss, which is a genuine problem for strength and tolerance. Eat a normal balanced diet and ask for a dietitian rather than following relatives' diet advice.
"Try this first, and start chemotherapy afterwards if it does not work."
Delay is the harm here. Whatever else somebody wants you to try, it does not justify postponing a cycle, and this is the one suggestion worth refusing without any politeness.
Questions we are asked
Common questions about other people's advice
What do I say to somebody recommending a remedy?
"Thank you, that is kind. We are following our oncologist's advice and cannot add anything to it." Then change the subject. Do not explain your plan or argue about the evidence.
Can I take an ayurvedic or herbal preparation alongside treatment?
Only if your oncologist has seen the actual product and agreed. Several interact with chemotherapy or affect the liver and kidneys. Bring the packet to the appointment rather than describing it.
Somebody told me to stop chemotherapy. What should I do?
Refuse to discuss it with them, and tell your oncologist it was suggested so they can give you an answer you can repeat. Never delay a cycle on that advice.
Should I cut out sugar?
No. Severe restriction causes weight loss, which matters for strength and how well treatment is tolerated. Eat normally and balanced, and ask for a dietitian if you want proper guidance.
How do I stop the constant phone calls?
Appoint one relative as gatekeeper, give them the sentence above, and route calls through them. The patient should not be spending their limited energy on this every day.
What about prayer, yoga and meditation?
Those are a different matter from swallowing an unknown preparation, and many patients find them genuinely helpful alongside treatment. Tell your team what you are doing, and ask about anything you intend to take by mouth.
How do I know when to be worried about a suggestion?
When somebody promises a complete recovery, charges substantial money, tells you not to inform your oncologist, or asks you to stop a prescribed medicine. Any of those four is a clear warning.
Can the doctor write something I can show people?
Ask for it. A note saying the plan is set and no additional remedies should be taken carries far more weight in a household than anything the patient says, and it is a reasonable request.
Meet the Specialists
17+ senior cancer specialists. One panel for your case.
Trained at AIIMS, Tata Memorial, and leading international centres. Combined 150+ years of experience. Every complex case is reviewed by 3+ of them — together.
Medical Oncologist
Dr. C. Raghavendra Reddy
MBBS(Gold Medal), DNB(General Medicine), DM(Medical Oncology)(Gold Medal)
Medical Oncologist
Dr. Bharati Devi Gorantla
MBBS, MD(General Medicine), DM(Medical Oncology)(Adyar,Chennai), ECMO, MRCP SCE(UK)
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Dr. Owais Mohammed
MBBS, MD (General Medicine), DrNB (Medical Oncology), ECMO, MRCP SCE (Medical Oncology) (UK)
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Dr. Muralidhar Muddusetty
MBBS (AIIMS), MS (Surgery) (AIIMS), DNB (Surgical Oncology), MRCS (Edinburgh)
Surgical Oncologist
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Surgical Oncologist
Dr. Vinay Mamidala
MBBS, MS(General Surgery), M.Ch(Surgical Oncology), FMAS, FARIS(Ongoing)
Surgical Oncologist
Radiation Oncologist
Radiation Oncologist
Radiation Oncologist
Hematologist
Surgical Oncologist
Dr. Vajja Sandeep Kumar
MBBS, MS (General Surgery), DrNB (Surgical Oncology), FALS Oncology
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Sources
- Macmillan Cancer Support — Your feelings and cancer
- Cancer Research UK — Coping emotionally with cancer
- American Cancer Society — Emotional, Mental Health, and Mood Changes
This page is general information, not a prescription. Do not change or stop any treatment based on what you read here. If anything is worrying you, contact your own treating team — or call our helpline and we will help you reach the right specialist.
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